Author Archive

What a crazy NBA season…

Posted: May 4, 2012 by girolahozz in Grandad's Tea Kettle

Welcome back! Sorry gone so long, but let’s move this along…

First off, R.I.P. Nathaniel Hornblower. You are already missed.

Now with the first round of the playoffs halfway through for some, and pretty much over for others, I can’t help but day dream about what teams will look like in 2 months time once the draft hits and free agency opens up. Sure there are ‘mock drafts’ out there and rumors galore, but truth is, true fans of their teams know better than to take the media bait and try their own stab at being the GM of their favorite teams. It’s not exactly fantasy basketball I’m talking about, which I have zero interest in, but more of thinking up realistic moves that would push a team that much closer to a banner next season or the next. For some it’s full blown explosions to a team to try to start over and see if the new pieces fit, how they react to the coach and how they handle the proven teams like San Antonio, LA, OKC and the rolling nightmare in Miami.

 

This season, we’ve seen a surprise from several teams that decided to ‘blow it up’ and attempt to contend. The Clippers are a prime example of this. They traded away most of their team for CP3 and then added more pieces to the puzzle with Caron Butler and Kenyon Martin. This was very much a Boston Celtics ’07 move when they traded away half their team for KG and picked up Jesus Shuttlesworth, Sam Cassell and other vets. It worked for them, but they also had a full summer training camp. Had the Clipps had that, along with several other newly constructed teams, this playoff matchup could look much different.

 

Injuries are another hot topic. I fully believe the Timberwolves would have made a deep run in the playoffs if Ricky Rubio wouldn’t have gone down early with a season ending injury. Same goes with the Magic, Bulls and Knicks. Injuries happen, on and off the court, but this compact schedule of cramming 66 games into 4 months was a disaster waiting to happen. Teams like San Antonio and Utah, though, proved that smart drafting and trading to build a solid bench is the way to go when a starter or 2 goes down clutching their knee or shoulder. Boston somehow kept going even with a weaker than others bench. They were dropping as fast as the Net’s starting lineup and still managed to come out strong into the playoffs.

 

It’s still a bit early for solid Finals matchup predictions but it’s looking a lot like Memphis or OKC could be facing Miami or Boston. Next season is going to be very fun to watch with half-injured superstars heading out of the playoffs and into the Olympics and back to rest a few weeks before starting training camp exhausted. To me, this is Miami’s last chance to win it all. With 3 of their stars heading to London this summer, they are going to be frazzled and worn out by the time next season starts. You can count them out. This is probably the best thing for teams like Minnesota, Chicago, Boston and whoever gets D12 this summer who will have the offseason to rest their injured and not lose them to more challenging and tiring games overseas. These teams will come in hungry, clicking and ready to kick the wounded and keep them down. Expect the Rockets to make a surprising push too. They are a foreign center named D-Mo and an all-star point guard in the making away from a deep run next season.

 

As of right now, my team of choice to dissect will be my favorite of course, the Boston Celtics.

Beantown would be smart in extending Pierce’s contract a 3rd time and stretching it over the next 3 seasons. This will give just a little extra cap room for this summer and the next to load up the bench. Hopefully Danny will do a better job this offseason than next. HOPEFULLY Danny will be in Portland or at home and Larry Bird will be grabbing up free agents like donuts.

Resigning KG and Jesus to smaller contracts, but not minimum ones, would be ideal for topping off their careers and mentoring the next generation in Boston. Bringing back Bass, Pietrus, Steimsma and starting Bradley are also musts for next season. Picking up Chris Kaman could be just what they need at the 5 with Steimroller spelling him. Jeff Green most likely will be back in a Celtics jersey and the Purdue rookies will be that much better next season after a full training camp and summer camp. The key will be getting that starting 5 like Kaman even Better Lopez from Brooklyn, and choosing wisely in the draft with their 4 picks, 2 of which are in the middle of the 1st round. This team will be a great blend of youth and experienced vets, much like the 2008 championship team. I fully expect them to be in the finals next year unless Chicago can find a way to solidify their frontcourt issues and starting 2 spot this summer. Either way, I’d welcome a Chi-Town/Beantown Semi-Finals any day next season with OKC waiting on the other side of the court.

 

I tip my hat to basketball and am thankful there’s at least one sport out there I can still connect with.  

 

-Grandad

Racism the Key to Reelection? No Way.. Gawww…

Posted: September 27, 2011 by girolahozz in Grandad's Tea Kettle

Racism in America. It’s anywhere you look, actually. But not the racism you are thinking of.

Let me define the word:

Racism

noun

1. a belief or doctrine that inherent differences among the various human races determine cultural or individual achievement, usually involving the idea that one’s own race is superior and has the right to rule others.

2. a policy, system of government, etc., based upon or fostering such a doctrine; discrimination.

3. hatred or intolerance of another race or other races.

 

The majority of Americans would probably relate the word to definition 3. People instantly think HATE when they hear the word racism, and that will doubtfully change.

The word discrimination jolts out at me the most, which is in definition 2.

Discrimination

noun 

1. treating people differently through prejudice: unfair treatment of one person or group, usually because of prejudice about race, ethnicity, age, religion, or gender

2. ability to notice and value quality: the ability to appreciate good quality or taste

3. awareness of subtle differentiation: the ability to notice subtle differences

 

Given definition 2, I’d say I definitely discriminate coffee. Just sayin’. People discriminate on just about everything each day, but they don’t realize it, and surely don’t see it as a link to racism unless pointed out. The WHITE verses BLACK civil war that has been brewing, especially in the last year, has had me really curious about not only what the outcome will be, but who has been steering the ship. The answer on the boat captain isn’t exactly an easy answer, unfortunately. Sure it’s easy to say, well it wasn’t like this before we elected a half-black president, but in reality it was, and has been brewing for decades. Though President Obama becoming recently unpopular and facing an unforeseeable golden ticket to a second term has created a more noticeable rift in the “let’s all hold hands after 9/11” mentality, I still can’t put the blame all on him. We will get to this point later.

 

In a nutshell, I’m amused by how much the media and entertainment masterminds focus so hard on ‘equal rights’ and damning ‘white America’, yet at the same time market mostly to whites. Think about it, very few commercials or popular movies/tv shows are minority friendly. McDonalds and Popeye’s Chicken have been the leaders at bringing in more diversity to their advertising, but very few have followed. There are now more minority characters in cartoons, tv shows and movies than before but is it equal enough for someone not to feel the need to discriminate against  or cry racism? No. There will not be, either. Channels like BET, primarily focused on Black entertainment, Black award shows, Black pageants, black scholarships and even the black congressional congress are not correcting this problem, they are simply alienating a race. Should there be a Black National Football League? No because there is a majority of black players in the NFL already. So should there be a White National Football League then to counterbalance the majority of blacks in the NFL? Only if the mindset of alienating a race is logical, and it’s not. People of all races come together and root on multicultural teams in all professional sports. Even golf, a predominately white sport. Tiger Woods, before he got caught being a naughty boy, was a hero and still is to so many races that are fans of golf.

 

So why, when it comes to politics, are people that supported our president 3 years ago suddenly running like Swamp Thing is chasing them down and no longer rooting him on in multicultural cheer? One answer, disappointment. Disappointment for what ‘should’ have been an amazing accomplishment for blacks and whites in our amazing nation. The first half-black/half-white American president. This should have been as popular as Tiger Woods in golf, correct? Well what happened to Tiger once everyone’s eyes were opened to what was going on behind the scenes? Disappointment. It was an O.J. Simpson-lite situation. When a hero becomes human, it never ends well. Just look at Superman II, but at least there, he became a super hero once again and saved the day. Is Tiger Woods capable of this? Yes. He can put the past behind him and go out on the golf course and jam on the one, fixing his legacy. So can our president do the same thing? He should be able to, but the reality is, he’s showing everyone he’s not going to. I’ll touch on this in a minute.

 

This is the reason the Republicans are so against anything he says. I don’t agree with the Republicans refusal to be more ‘agreeable’ to get some things moving for our country, but in essence I look at it like this. If your child is bad, you punish them. And any adult knows that sometimes, punishing your child also punishes yourself. Take a planned vacation for example. If your kid does something really bad before the vacation, they should be punished. And sometimes, if it’s bad enough, that means the vacation should be canceled to prove a point to the child that they screwed up and have to learn. You don’t punish your kid for doing bad from the television but still let them have video games and computer time, do you? Well I see the Republicans taking the same thought process here. Unless they can get the president and the Senate to agree to fixing the things that are crippling America, then they are completely punishing him until his eyes are opened. The same thing happened to Bush his last 2 years.

 

Back to my earlier point about President Obama not showing everyone he’s willing to swallow pride, set his agenda aside and do for the country’s good and not his own. Recently he’s come to the realization that it’s not going to be a “follow the yellow brick road” year ahead for him towards a reelection. Now he’s recently resorted to the lowest point in his presidency. Campaigning. Making empty promises to ensure votes. How quickly some of this nation forgot how heavily he ran on job creation and instead focused solely on healthcare. Now he’s back to promising jobs again, but will America take the medicine? It’s not looking like it from what early polling shows, though we are still a year away from the 2012 election. I think America is realizing the man believes more in his reelection than in job creation. As he campaigns his ‘jobs bill/reelection’ tour he is doing more to harm American than help by recently creating more civil warfare. How dare I? Let me ‘splain, Lucy.

 

His recent speech to rile up black voters was worded a bit extreme in my point of view.  Here’s another take on the speech for contrast. What he’s doing here is creating more of a separation of races. Basically saying, vote for whatever I say because I’m not half-white and half-black, I’m black, and you should start marching for whatever I say. Now when I think of marching for policy, I think of Dr. Martin Luther King’s famous non-violent marches that brought about a very long overdue and important change to our society in America. Equal rights for all that legally live in America. I won’t get into that, but instead of more branching I will finish with this. President Obama, don’t you dare tell the black community to vote for you because it’s the right thing to do. If you have to sink this low, to call out an entire race to bail you out, then at least have the balls to ask them to support you IF they agree with what you are doing to America, and plan to continue doing IF reelected. You don’t see Herman Cain or Ron Paul doing this in order to get a leg up in the race now do you?

My Friend Markus

Posted: September 22, 2011 by girolahozz in Grandad's Tea Kettle

I have a friend named Markus Ponder. I felt it necessary to mention him because of his uncanny resemblance to the actor Matt Damon. It’s amazing actually, how much he looks just like him. Sometimes I feel bad since I’m sure he’d rather a much more awesome actor to have a likeness to, but either way, he’s Matt Damon in my book.

My friend Markus Ponder has the largest calves I’ve ever seen on a 3 foot 2 man. It’s like two leprechaun skulls sealed up tight in an albino seals’ belly and taped on below his knees.

My friend Markus Ponder has the best laugh I’ve ever heard from a man. It’s always the same, never just a chuckle, but a hearty gut buster that sizzles like a 1910 Model T Ford’s car horn, if there is such a vehicle.

My friend Markus Ponder. He’s such a gangster…

-Girolahozz

Star Wars Vs. Star Trek; The Ultimate Battle…

Posted: September 20, 2011 by girolahozz in Grandad's Tea Kettle

Star Wars VS. Star Trek; The Ultimate Battle…

I recently read a silly article questioning William Shatner (Captain James T. Kirk of Star Trek fame) of which was better, Star Trek or Star Wars.

I’ll spare you the nonsensical quote from T.J. Hooker himself, but let’s just say it revolved around him saying Star Wars came from Star Trek, Star Wars was all special effects and that the ladies were the best part of it. How serious was this answer? It’s William Shatner! So who knows, the guy insists upon himself, basically spewing anything for fame and attention.

To be honest, this did kind of strike a nerve in me, being a fan of both science fiction juggernauts. So I figured why not drop my opinion on the matter? Read on…

First off, Star Wars obviously did not come from Star Trek, nor is it in any relation to it story wise, and I’m pretty certain Shatner knows this. Even though Star Trek premiered on television well before Star Wars was on the big screen in 1977, they are both still just science fiction ideas that somehow started a feud on which was better. Very few people I talk to about this are actually a fan of both, like I am. Most people choose Star Wars over Star Trek. Reason being that Star Wars was like Star Trek on steroids.

The Star Wars storyline was palatable enough for a 6 year old to understand and the action always moved each ‘episode’ along. The characters, to me, are what separate Star Trek from Star Wars. George Lucas, the mastermind behind Star Wars, was a genius at creating characters, aliens and the whole universe; much like Gene Roddenberry was a genius at creating the Star Trek universe. The main difference between the two was that Star Wars was “in a galaxy far, far away”, setting it up to be a fairy tale almost and pretty much created the atmosphere from scratch. Star Trek was Earth and our galaxy a few hundred years in the future, so Roddenberry had to tie in what happens from now until then.

 To be honest, Roddenberry did a pretty bang up job on a lot of things that have come to be. The iPad, laptop/desktop, iPhone, portable tvs, and so much more were all envisioned in the Star Trek universe decades before they became a reality, or even thought possible. Star Wars biggest ‘technology break-through’ was laser rifles and warp speed, things that Star Trek already had made visible on the tube more than a decade before.

Star Trek was written for the small screen, to be a bunch of stories that gave the viewer an outcome by the time the hour was almost up. Star Wars was written a 6 part story for the big screen, originally, and has spawned into more as the time goes by. This is probably why the ‘storyline-based’ Star Trek did not hold up to Star Wars ‘action-based’ films as well as fans would like to argue. I will say that in my book, Star Wars V The Empire Strikes Back and Star Trek II The Wrath of Khan are pretty close to amazing and untouchable in the history of film!

 The characters were a bit stale and dated though, in the Star Trek universe. Everyone seemed super smart, and athletic when they needed to be, so it really was a soap opera in space. Action rarely happened, but the links to humanity were what sold the show to the audience, at least to me. Roddenberry dealt with everyday issues, just pushed into a future setting and usually came up with pretty believable outcomes. People liked Captain Kirk because he was the hero, the leader, the cowboy where as Mr. Spock was the alien that balanced the outcome of the story.

Compassion to a race or species was always a focus in Star Trek.  Star Wars was similar, having witty characters like Luke Skywalker and Han Solo that could instantly spring into action. These were the equivalent to the military in both Star Wars and Star Trek, so maybe they were the best of the best and just had a ‘ninja switch’ they could shut on or off? Who knows, but everyone had their favorites in both series.

Acting. Acting in Star Wars was borderline awful, especially in the original 3 films (the final 3 weren’t exactly day time tv worthy either). I am stunned that Lucas could create characters this well and then have trouble with scripting and acting direction. Roddenberry’s acting wasn’t a whole lot better but again, was a decade before Star Wars and the ‘stage’ acting of Star Trek had dissipated more or less from the big screen by the time the first Star Wars film came out. Future series learned from both and created stronger, more entertaining series like Firefly, Stargate and eventually the J.J. Abrams rebirth of Star Trek that came out recently. It pretty much combines the action of Star Wars with the characters of Star Trek, but places it in an alternate cannon or alternate historical reality of what Star Trek followers have come to absorb over the last 35+ years by starting it all over with the characters as young. It was a huge success and already a sequel is in the works so Star Wars may need to “make it so” with some new material soon or the argument may stay in Captain Kirk’s corner…

When time becomes a loop

 -Girolahozz

Shiver me timbers…

Posted: September 19, 2011 by girolahozz in Grandad's Tea Kettle

In case you work around adults or mature mini-adults, you may not know that today is International Talk Like a Pirate Day, me matey. So yeah, that’s pretty fun.

Reaching out to more admins/bloggers for the site and hope to have some more stuff on here soon from a few ‘sleeping giants’ that are working on some goodies to post.

Keep ’em clean and get ready for Halloween

-Girolahozz

Crazy Lady.

Posted: September 15, 2011 by girolahozz in Grandad's Tea Kettle

Every have one of those days where you just feel blah?

No matter what you do, it just keeps on draggin on, time slows down and even after lunch you feel like a slab of beef waiting for the skillet?

Well stop sniffing your dry erase marker and come along with me to a place that will cheer even the puffiest of nay-sayers!

“But wait! I’m stuck here at work! I can’t leave…” You might say…

“How can I flow with you?” You could also say after that…

Here’s your answer! Eat. Eat. Eat.

“But I’m soooo full!” You might say…

“And I ate an extra lean pocket at lunch!” You could also say after that…

No, not food for your mouth, but food for your MIND! That’s right! Learn something. Just because you are bored doesn’t mean you need to fill your mouth… fill your mind! Challenge your know-how!

“What?”

Exactly. Because the world needs more brilliant minds like our former Alaskan governor…

 “Uhh…”

Whoops!

Say it ain’t so, Johnny…

-Girolahozz

What would you do for a Klondike Bar?

Posted: September 15, 2011 by girolahozz in Grandad's Tea Kettle

 What would I do for a Klondike Bar? I’d run for Senate.

And once I got there, if I was then asked what I’d do for a Klondike Bar, I’d finish wiping the gooey chocolate goodness off my slacks and run for president!

Then once I was there, if I was asked again what I’d do for 2 more Klondike Bars, I’d lick my nummy fingers and say I’d level America. We’re talking level it! Be known quickly within 3 years as the president in American history with the lowest approval ratings.

But first, I’d marry a Gremlin…

 

OOPS!

Stick that in your tie-fighter and smoke it on Hoth!

(No hate here, just some good old fashion giggles. Take ’em or leave ’em.)

Because sandpaper hurts…

-Girolahozz


Green Naugahyde

First and foremost, this is a really fun, entertaining and twisted album, much what a fan of Primus would expect. This is great news for anyone that was left with blue gotchas after the incredible Animals ep dropped from the heavens. The bad news? Yeah you know there had to be some, but this is Primus bad news, it’s not really bad news. Basically it isn’t Animals-level, and obviously not likening in sound to any of their earlier albums. If I had to label it, I’d say it is somewhere between Seas of Cheese depth and Purple Onion/Bucket of Bernie Brains.

 

Before you blast me with treason, read on, give it a listen and I think you will agree somewhat. I’m proud to say Primus has been my favorite band since 1993, so I feel comfortable saying this. I’m obviously happy to hear something challenging from Les and Ler again. I don’t feel like I’ve gotten that since Purple Onion and Animals came out. Sure there have been fun songs and takeaways since then on different albums but this almost feels like a bridge that never was between Holy Mackeral and Purple Onion.

 

I don’t feel any laziness, though the percussion does lack throughout most of the album, and Les is full of fun stories with Ler grinding away as always in a way on he and Todd Huth could. I miss Herb but I understand after seeing them tour for Zingers together that him exiting stage left again was inevitable. I was very happy to see the Fisherman’s Chronicles return and overall it’s a strong effort that with more plays will seep into my noggin just like Punchbowl and Brown Album did after a curious raised eyebrow was first raised.

 

Give it an honest ear, if you like Les. I agree with a former comment that it doesn’t sound like Frizzle Fry, but Les was obviously talking about the gel and creative process of this album reminding him of that album. Frizzle Fry is bananas crazy with heavy banging throughout on the drums and bass, so this sounds nothing like that in my opinion, but again, it does have that wide range of ideas that Seas had and the feel of Purple Onion to me. I was curious if it would have a Sausage feel to it, but I honestly didn’t catch that either, and I’m fine with that since that was years ago and based on years before.

 

If you like Les you should love this if not now then tomorrow.

 

This and that, this and that, this and that

-Girolahozz

Comix and Milk Part 1

Posted: September 13, 2011 by girolahozz in Grandad's Tea Kettle

Comic books have always fascinated me, even when I lost interest in my mid-teens and took a 10 year break, much like sports. Even though you don’t follow them, they just keep on going in the background of your life. Then you show back up and there they are, the greats haven’t changed and there are a few new heroes out there to follow, but the story is always the same.

Now some would say comparing comics to sports is completely pickle-footed but it’s true in my case. I recently found out some interesting news about the upcoming fall line of comics coming out. For those of you not super familiar with the history of comics, but understand sports, then follow me if you will…

Comic books for the last 60-70 years have had 2 main companies with all the popular super heroes that the average person would know (Spider-Man, Superman, Batman) and those two are DC (Detective Comics) and Marvel Comics. DC having Superman, Batman, Flash, Green Lantern and Wonder Woman, characters that have been around for 70 years and not many popular newer characters.

Marvel has Spider-Man, Wolverine, The Hulk and X-Men but have been more successful at creating more modern era characters than DC and generally outsells DC comics each year. So in relation to sports, Marvel comics are the Lakers and DC comics are the Celtics.

The thing about comics is it is usually an ongoing story for each character/team followed in numbered issues that normally are released to a salivating fan boy public monthly. Sometimes these stories ‘cross-over’ into other titles. This was a brilliant way at getting readers interested in buying titles that may not have been catching the attention of the more popular ones at the time, and so you’d have to shell out 12 bucks to follow one storyline instead of just a couple bucks. Pretty much the main reason I got out of comics in early high school. I got out of sports around this time because everyone on a baseball team was either hitting 40 homeruns a year or the basketball court had become a UFC match full of thuggery and nonsense.

Now, earlier issues are generally the ones highly sought after by readers since a lot of times, a new title sneaks out under the radar and becomes popular much later on. Demand becomes higher, so the later issues are more widely produced, whereas the earlier ones (ex: Issues 1-10) are now harder to find since not as many were made and become more valuable. Now obviously the older titles from the late 30’s and 40’s of last century are going to be highly collectable given that they were only sold in grocery shops off the racks or a few other places. There wasn’t exactly a comic book store in every neighborhood to find the first issue of Amazing Spider-Man. So my point is that earlier issues are collectable and always have been.

DC seems to have run it’s titles into the void at this point and in an act of desperation to strengthen its sales verses that of Marvel comics in the upcoming fall, they have decided to take their 52 biggest titles and start them over with issue #1. To a non-gee—uh, non-reader, this would’t mean much. It would basically just be the next volume in a series. But to the avid fan boy, seeing Detective Comics or Action Comics (2 titles that have been around longer than your granddad’s bacon) suddenly start over at #1 could be a bit touchy. Here’s the kicker though, they are not only starting them over at issue one, they are restarting each character/team’s origin. That’s a heavy burden on DC’s shoulders to bare, but self inflicted and very bold. A character like Superman, that has had a trillion different storylines over the years to suddenly just start over with a whole new alternate origin and storyline to unfold is going to either be a grand slam at Denny’s or a Michael Jackson joke for years to come. Either way, it’s brilliant on DC’s part and will sell a TON of issues at first and possibly for years to come. Readers will either want these new first issues because they will be highly collectable or just to continue on the next path of storylines with their favorite characters’ titles.

It’s not like comics’ popularity is dying off or really even skyrocketing like in the early 1990’s, but in an internet/iPad society DC is finding a smart way to make some money. Marvel will more than likely still come out the winner in the long run, but it’s nice of DC to realize they need to do something quick, and this is pretty freakin’ huge. With the popularity of all the Marvel films stemming from their strong writers/artists and creative teams that have kept their line of comics more ‘fresh’ than its competition, DC will now have a better hope that they can one day have the same Hollywood box office success from these new stories if this idea works.

To the Hall of Truth!

-Girolahozz

The Greatest Shoes of All Time!!!

Posted: September 9, 2011 by girolahozz in Grandad's Tea Kettle

Image Detail

Ultra-wicked incredible…

THE TIME HAS COME! We are finally able to rock the awesomeness that Marty McFly wore in Back to the Future Part 2! Nike has released a line of shoes that are a throw-back to the film’s iconic shows worn by Michael J. Fox and appear to be self-lacing? WOW. Hoverboards are still obviously not possible, but this is cool. I remember pretending my Reebok pumps were McFly shoes back in the early 90’s after the film came out. Is it a shoe gimmick? Of course it is! It’s no different than thinking Air Jordan’s are any better than normal Nike basketball shoes.

The fact that those of us that grew up and loved the cool future ideas in BTTF2 are finally getting to see them unfold is awesome. I watch episodes of Star Trek The Next Generation and see then using hand held communicators that resemble modern day iPhones and their laptops were a brilliant idea that also became a reality. Technology never stops bringing the ruckus!

Get a pair and enjoy a little bit of history from the future… yeah I just said that.

EDITOZZ’S NOTE: Okay, so I found out there are only a thousand or so of these amazing shoes made, and they are being auctioned on eBay starting yesterday 9/8/11. How much do you ask? Dare you? Let’s just say they are set at $5,100.00. That’s right five THOUSAND dollars apiece. Now here’s the kicker, as if that wasn’t it already. All the money goes to MJF’s Parkinson’s research project. That’s hoverborderline genius! I won’t have a pair, but maybe Payless will get some knockoffs… then I’ll be 9 years old again.

 “Marty! It’s your kids!”

-Girolahozz