Smell These with Aqua Sac

Fun at the Zoo

Posted: August 26, 2011 by Dunbar

It was a sunny day in rural Polk County Texas. The Hendershot family was getting ready for their yearly trip to the big city where they would take their children, Ralph, aged 5 and Ronny, aged 4, to the zoo. The children loved the monkeys. In fact, the children often pretended to be monkeys as they played in the towering Chestnut trees that blanketed the forty acre farm on which they lived.

The farm to market road which arbitrarily slithered in front of the farm rarely saw traffic, and often the kids would stand out by the road just waiting for a car to pass and guess the color. The farm sat on top of a hill, so only at the last second could they see an outsider approaching. The children had no television or video games or toys of the modern variety; only their imaginations and land as far as the eye could see to freely run about.

The parents are old fashioned Christians, choosing to live on a farm secluded from the heathens that lived within the city. John, the father, provided for the family by selling fresh produce as well as hand carving caskets from the very Chestnut trees that covered his land. He lined every casket with silver 800 count cotton fabric. Being an eternal optimist, he always said “even in death, there’s a silver lining”.

On this day, the kids were excited about their trip. They had their lunches packed, wearing their favorite outfits and had their red hair parted in a way reminiscent of Ritchie Cunningham, and it was indeed a happy day. The mother, Valery, wore her best dress which she sewed herself. They were a sharp-dressed family, the kind you see in sepia pictures from yesteryear.

 John finished packing the car and called his wife Valery and the kids from the tree house where they were getting in some last second playtime before the four hour drive. The kids enthusiastically hurdle into the family truckster, securing themselves in their booster seat with a five point seat belt harness system. Dad started the car, and the trip was underway.

As the family approached the road, they saw an old man waving them down, encroaching on the farm. He must have been nearly 70 years old with a face like a catcher’s mitt and the gait of primordial being. A harmless old man. John rolled down his window and asked “you okay out here?” The man replied “yes sir, my tractor is out of gas about a half mile north of here. I was wondering if I could borrow a bit to get me back to the house”. John says “of course”. The old man offered compensation for the fuel, but John refused, being glad to help.

The family drove back up the garage and John grabbed his 5 gallon container of gasoline to replenish the thirsty combine. The old man jumped in, smelling of fresh cut grass and 3-in-1 oil. He didn’t say much, in fact, nothing, as the headed towards his tractor. The old man kept looking at the kids and smiling, then at the wife, but quickly released his smile upon being detected. The family figured he was shy, and never thought he was creepy. Finally, the family dropped off the old man and John helped him refill the gas tank. John couldn’t help but notice the bloody rags in the tractor, the booze bottles, and cache of pistols inside. John was hesitant to inquire about the suspicious items, as it was none of his business. The old man said “is there a problem?” to which John replied “no sir, just admiring your choice of guns”. The old man got angry. “What business is it of yours?”. John said “none”, and quickly the old man became more belligerent. Before things could escalate, John said “well you have a good day”, and walked back to the car. Once inside, John said to Valery, “don’t ever let that man in our house, he’s trouble. Stay away from him kids”. “Yes sir” the rugrats said in unison.

John the saw the old man staring back at him with a gun in his hand, so he quickly turned around to leave the scene. POW! Black. Darkness. No movement from anyone. As John was turning the car around, a Semi slammed into the family vehicle, squashing them like a June bug under a work boot. Blood was everywhere. Four lifeless bodies were strewn about.

 The driver of the truck emerged, shaken, but not seriously injured. As the driver approached, he was horrified to see what he had done. He killed a family. A family on the way to the big city to enjoy the zoo. The driver noticed the old man in the combine and flagged him down, as the old man was already on his way after hearing the crash.

The old man arrived, and stood there soaking up the scene stoically. The driver asked “did you know them?”. “Just met them” he replied, “I believe he’s the man who carves those beautiful caskets out of Chestnut”. “I know of him” the driver said in response. “What a shame”. The old man replied with a straight face, “it’s shame, but not all is lost”. “How do you mean?” proclaimed the driver. The old man exclaimed “well, the silver lining; at least they’ll get a good deal on the coffins”.

-Dunbar 2011

  1. aquasac says:

    Oh my! How horrible! I’m hungry, and need to poo.

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