Celebrity baby names

Posted: September 7, 2011 by aquasac in Smell These with Aqua Sac

I was reading through the Houston Chronicle and came across a story about weird celebrity baby names. Unfortunately, because the page involved many pictures, my work computer was unable to download in a reasonable amount of time. I Googled “weird celebrity baby names” out of curiosity and came across an article from Cracked. Also, I remembered lengthy discussion over at Lawrence Auster’s VFR here, here and here.

Mr. Auster says:

Another way of looking at it (which some will find too mystical, but really is no more mystical than your idea) is that a child at birth already has a certain inborn character (and character is destiny), and his parents in naming him are being insensibly influenced by his character to give him a name that fits it.

I think this is true to a large degree. Imagine your name being something other than it is. It doesn’t fit you, which you could play off as it doesn’t fit you because it’s all you know, and all you’ve been called. But I think you get the picture. If you name your girl “Tunisia”, you’ve probably destined her to be a stripper or work at the DMV.

Why is it that celebrities name their kids off-the-wall names? My guess is that because the parents are rich stars, the baby name will not affect the child’s life in ways the prole population will. Names go a long way and I believe they can affect a person’s outcome in life. Blacks name their kids the stupidest shit anyone could possibly ever think of. Why? To separate themselves from white culture, the people who brought their ancestors here and named them Western Christian names. Bill Cosby has spoken out against blacks naming their kids stupid names in recent years, only to be called an Uncle Tom for doing so. If you think about future job applications, it makes sense. If you are hiring and you come across two people with similar qualifications named Ann and LaCaramel, it’s a no-brainer as to who will be hired.

Here are my top 5 dumbass names from dumbass celebrities at the Cracked website, which lists 20:

  • Moxie Crimefighter Penn Jillette
  • Moon Unit and Diva Thin Muffin Frank Zappa
  • Pilot Inspektor Jason Lee
  • Coco David Arquette and Courtney Cox
  • Jermajesty Jermaine Jackson

Below is a receipt with the cashier’s lovely name. I bet we can guess what race she (I assume she) is.

I think she's Hungarian.

It should also be said that white trash (Palins) name their kids odd names as well, or are more likely to than others. People want to be hip today by naming their children idiotic names. It’s so hip. I mean, so cool. So, people, quit naming your kids after your favorite breakfast cereal and whatnot. They are human beings and names have consequences later in life, just think about it.

  1. aquasac says:

    I should have added that anyone reading this that knows of any odd, or frankly stupid, or ghetto names that is worth repeating to do so here. Always fun. Maybe even make up your own!

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