I saw Jesus in my tomato bisque

Posted: August 30, 2011 by aquasac in Smell These with Aqua Sac
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

I was perusing the information superhighway and came across a month-old story about Jesus’ face appearing on a Wal Mart receipt. I know what you’re thinking, it made me hungry too. Wait, what?

I’m always amused by the appearance of Jesus on inanimate objects and the normally thumbless people who run to the media to show off their miracle. I look at the picture of the alleged Jesus and say “hmm, that looks like Ronald, my neighbor”. The fact is any object with Jesus’ face on it only looks like Jesus because the humanoid figure has a beard, like my neighbor Ronald. Indeed, one could just as easily say “look, grandpa’s face is on my watermelon rind!”

Every so often we see stories of people seeing the face of Jesus on an object, and this is supposed to be a sign that Jesus is trying to communicate or tell them something. Below are some pictures of “Jesus”, and what I think Jesus was trying to say.

Psst. Target has better-quality merchandise and fewer minorities in the check out! - Your friend, Jesus.


You burned me mother fugger! Oh, and eat more vegetables. - Your now slightly darker deity, Jesus.

This whole sticking-me-in-the-oven thing is getting tiresome. Go invade another Muslim country. - Your deliciously melted King Neocon, Jesus

Yes. I decided to come back to Earth in the form of rotting paint on an old man's rocking chair. Tell the world! - Your sarcastic lamb, Jesus

Ah shit! I came back as lower-case-T Swamp Thing again! - Your holy muddy son of God, Swamp Jesus.

I’m sure you all can find other stories and pics, please share… On that note, I leave you with a little Clutch, while I say a few hail Mary’s:


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